Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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