I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
