Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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