Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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