he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
