Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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