talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
