I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Holy sore nipples Batman
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm bleeding and have questions
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
