Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
