i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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