so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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