I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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