He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
