So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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