The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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