Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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