dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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