Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
