Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
