Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
