talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
