someone threw a dead crab at me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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