Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
