we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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