I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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