God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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