I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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