I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
