Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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