Yo dont text me then not text me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
