I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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