he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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