We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
