Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
