Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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