Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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