You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
