Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
