screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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