I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
