After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
