So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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