He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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