people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
