I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
zippers are such a cool invention
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
