Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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