What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
