it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
