operation harelip BJ is a go
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
