Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
