I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
